Okay, OKAY - Updating because I love you:

- Still working on insanely arduous paper.

- Ordered Diet Book from scary women's body-building magazine, but amazon.com comments are very positive, so am going to learn how to starve, I guess, because clothes no longer fit. I just know that they're going to say I can't eat two boxes of Raisinettes a day...:(

- Went to LBK to see John's best friend's new baby. Very cute, changed tar-filled diaper and saw tiiiiiny uncircumcised penis. This was slightly disturbing.

- Good friend Darcie passed the qual for her Stats. Ph.D. WOOOHOOO.

- Missing the world outside this room I've been sitting in for the last four days, trying to figure out what the hell I'm writing about.

- Now know more about J.R.R. Tolkien than I ever intended to know. Seriously, the information never ends.

- Am now romanced by the idea of myths.

- Have decided that I AM going to finish the cheesy romance novel this summer.

- Going to see Wicked (the musical) this weekend in OKC with DJ. He bought the tix and made dinner reservations at some schmancy restaraunt (for OKC, of course). Love having a sister who works at the Hyatt. Cheap rooms! We'll also be having lunch with one of John's old high school buddies.

- After multiple LOTR internet searches, have realized that many people make-believe that Frodo and Samwise Gamgee *love* each other, in the sword-fight-with-penises way. This upsets me. They are hobbits, not porn stars. Also was upset by scary kissing photoshop images that pop up when googling "frodo sam."

- Daddy bought me tix to go see Celine Dion in Vegas w/ my MOMMA in a few weeks! FUNFUNFUNLOVETHEDADDY. Celine, you ask? Cheesiest singer on the planet, you say? Yes and yes. Freakish vocal abilities? Yes, and *that* is what I love. SO EXCITED.

- Also am going on Daddy/Daughter trip to Houston in a couple weeks! We're going to wear baseball caps and watch baseball games and eat PIZZA and sit in the Astrodome. I LOVE MY DADDY.

- Got cool new IPod sound holster that plugs into my car. Very sexy...feeling inordinately high-tech and spy-like in shabby gray Honda. Rev my ENGINE, BABY! YEAH.

- Oh, and did not go to sleep last night, as am obsessed with finishing the paper. Took a 10-minute nap at 6:30 a.m. Am sleepy and slightly delirious.

I, being born a woman and distressed
By all the needs and notions of my kind,
Am urged by your propinquity to find
Your person fair, and feel a certain zest
To bear your body's weight upon my breast:
So subtly is the fume of life designed,
To clarify the pulse and cloud the mind,
And leave me once again undone, possessed.
Think not for this, however, the poor treason
Of my stout blood against my staggering brain,
I shall remember you with love, or season
My scorn wtih pity, - let me make it plain:
I find this frenzy insufficient reason
For conversation when we meet again.

I'm leaving for Lubberly Lubbock tonight and won't be back in town until Thurs. Ya'll have fun while I'm gone!!!

Love,
me

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, my dear lindalee_!!!

You deserve a wonderful and relaxed day, and you deserve for your life to be celebrated - so do it! I'm so glad that you were born.

Happy Birthday, Miss wickedsin!!!

Lotsa love and good wishes are coming your way.

New Favorite Male Musician: RYAN DAVIS -

This guy is good (in Austin). He's lyrically/musically inventive. His voice sounds like cigarettes and depth. Plus, he's my March-10th-BIL.

Go check out his music on MySpace: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=43838606

crawl through a river
licking up stones
dive down below
the surface of Earth
swimming through chalky dust
dive, fetch a diamond
to shine in your teeth
clench tightly, then coil
and finally release
fly fly FLY, bird,
you can.
Fly to the heavens
zip through the trees
up to the atmosphere
walk through the breeze
nap on a cloud today
wrapped in the moisture
float down to land again
live in an oyster
sing under water
a symphony long
teach a young cloister
a rock and roll song
grow up to five miles tall
shrink down to very small
hide in an oven;
bake till you're done
curl up in the freezer
and dream of the sun

Two nights ago I wept harder than I've wept in a long time. I was wounded. The curtain was pulled away, and all my secret fears and insecurities were exposed to the light. They scuttled back from the burning force of reality, and I was left bruised and battered, but more aware of myself than I've ever been.

I've changed; marriage does that. Day by day, and strand by strand, John and I are woven together into the very cord that binds our hearts. Sometimes, most of the time, that security is pure comfort and joy - a hammock gently rocking me towards the future. At other times...it wraps around me in pain and hurt (and even anguish)...and pulls tighter and tighter until my every wound is open and exposed for the Light to cauterize.

We're not one person, not at all. It's just that my love grows deeper until it is inseparable from my perception of reality - a terrifying, bittersweet and hope-filled reality.

I am whole without him; I always will be. But even when I'm hurting, the Love pours through me like a soothing balm, and I don't WANT to walk away from my promise. That's how deep it goes.

On a lighter note, John and I watched part of the Notebook late last night. He is always amazed that someone has captured my personality and personified it on screen. Frankly, I am, too.

All my life, all I ever wanted was more willpower. Seriously.

Oh, and it's freaking FREEZING outside. I just thought I'd mention it since we're living in a drafty old house.

Scientists have developed a simple formula, based on multiple child-growth studies, to determine a child's adult height, within 2 inches:

http://athena.usask.ca/growthutility/phv_ui.cfm?type=2

I am Captivating

There is a beauty about me that calls to all of Creation
A light, a shining rainbow,
like the light that shines from a thousand gems
lying piled in a sun-drenched meadow

That light lives within
It's reflected in my eyes
Shimmering in the pores my skin
Sliding down the length of my hair

I am Woman

I am one to be pursued
whose favor is to be longed for
whose Worth was established
as the most complex, mysterious
and powerfully beautiful creature
in God's creation

No world-weary expectation
can make me forget
for more than a moment
who I am

I am fierce, fierce
I protect what's mine
If what is mine is threatened,
a heat boils inside of me
like a fire that cannot be tamed
and the light within me
will burn to the touch

But I am so tender
so vulnerable
that the wounds I have sustained
will stay with me forever
they WILL NOT mar my Beauty
they cannot scar my Self
Badges of triumph, they remain,
as reminders of my strength
The Warrior that I am

And I continue, not hardened,
but soft - calling to the world,
"Come, rest in my Beauty,
rest in the image of Glory I was created in.
Revel in me. Find respite in me.
Want Me. Love Me.
Please, oh please
come Fighting for me."

I deserve to be pursued
I deserve to be passionately pursued
as a lifesaving help,
a fire-lit inspiration
and a reminder of the
iridescent magnificence of Creation

I am a Light
A reflection of the Source
and I will not forget

No, I will not forget

That I am Woman, born.










Written, by Me, Veronica May McCuin on September 11, 2005....from 1:00-1:25 AM.

I'm going to bed now.

US Customer Service
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Phone from outside the US and Canada: (206) 346-2992 or (206)-266-2992
Another direct line: (206) 266-2335
E-mail: orders@amazon.com (I think this will still work, but no guarantees)

e-Bay, Inc.
408-376-7400
Toll Free: 800-322-9266
And another one: 888-749-3229

PayPal
1-888-221-1161

Made it onto the praise team at Bent Tree! I can't believe it; it hasn't sunk in yet that I'll be singing on stage (eventually even singing solos) in front of 10,000 people. This is totally God's doing and not mine. I HEARD the people audtioning before me, and I don't even compare. Honestly, I don't.

Crazy.

Oh MY GOD.

I'm so, so retarded.

Yeah! I think that we may go out dancin' tonight!!!

Yippee!!!

HOW TO STAY AWAKE IN MEETINGS: --- (OFFERED AS A PUBLIC SERVICE)

Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and seminars? What about those
long and boring conference calls? ~~~~ Here's a way to change all of that.

1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference
call,prepare yourself by drawing a square. I find that 5" x 5" is a
good size.

2. Divide the card into columns-five across and five down. That will
give you 25 one-inch blocks.

3. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:

* synergy * strategic fit * bottom line * mind set * core competencies* knowledge base * revisit * 24/7 * benchmark * out of the loop * value-added * pro-active * win-win * fast track * think outside the box * result-driven * empower(ment) * expeditious * touch base * at the end of the day * best practice * game plan * leverage * paradigm * client focus(ed)

4. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those
words/phrases.

5. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally,
stand up and shout "BULLSHIT"

It's amazing how much being in a clean, neat house does for me. I woke up late this morning, but the junk-free floor, dusted furniture, cleared off countertops and vacuumed carpets were so soothing that I wasn't even hurried or rushed. And because I didn't have to rush around LOOKING for clean things (like towels and underwear)...I got to work right on time.

Ahhhhhhhhhh - makes me want smile. I think I will. Right now. Smile, that is.

And John has been working on my Birthday painting - the colors are so brilliant - it's gonna be gorgeous.

And I can't wait to see the final result so that I can decide what color to paint the walls.

And I can't even imagine having a week off to paint the kitchen - oh my lord, how wonderful.

"He's getting excited as is evidenced by his constant excitement"

Thinking about you, Stasi.

V

My mother-in-law is a second grade teacher. Last week, she had her students write a letter to their mommies for Mother's Day...here's what one little girl wrote:

MOTHER I LOVE YOU BECAUSE...

I love you so much. You are the best mommy. On Mother's Day it will be special because I'm celebrating my birthday. I have lots of gifts for you mommy. You look so beautiful mommy. I can't believe that daddy said you were fat but you are not fat maybe a little. I just love you so much. I am so sorry that your mom died.

Love your daughter,
*******

AWESOME